Al and Tipper Gore’s separation after 40 years of marriage wasn’t a surprise to some counselors and divorce lawyers, who said it isn’t rare for long-term marriages to fail.
“There are a lot of reasons why that can happen,” said Barbara Feinberg, a psychologist in Carrollwood who has been practicing for 24 years. She said couples who marry young have a special hurdle to jump if they want to be a part of a life-long marriage.
“Oftentimes, the first time we marry, we marry someone opposite of us; the idea being that opposites attract,” she said. “But sometimes, those characteristics become a problem and people start to assert their differences over time.”
Some can find ways to continue celebrating the differences, she said, “to use opposite characteristics in a positive way.”
But apparently not the Gores, she said, although the former vice president and his wife had a good run.
“The Gores,” she said, “are pretty opposite from what I understand. They were in the political limelight for quite a while, and often people stay together for appearances. They just kind of limp along. They stay together for the children.
“And, in some instances,” she said, “people have relationships on the side.”
For most celebrity watchers, the Gore marriage was picture perfect. Al Gore even once said his romance with his wife inspired the 1970 novel “Love Story,” although author Erich Segal said that was only partially true.
The Gores made out on stage in front of millions of people at the Democratic National Convention in 2000. But in recent years, the couple “grew apart,” friends and close associates have said.
In Catherine W. Real’s line of work, divorces involving couples married for decades is not unusual.
“Indeed,” said the Tampa lawyer, who has an office in Hyde Park and has practiced law for more than two decades, “the number of divorces of long-married couples has not been increasing exponentially, but we are experiencing a significant number; more now than before.”
She said that in the Gores’ case, economics probably wasn’t a factor, whereas it is in the demise of most long-term marriages. Many well-to-do people lost a lot of money in the recession, and those pressures have resulted in splits after decades together.
Another major factor is relationships outside the marriage.
“If one of parties doesn’t have a significant other in the wings,” she said, “it’s a rare occurrence. Usually, the male is the one with a significant other, but women also are guilty.”
Another reason long-term marriages go kaput is that the children have grown and moved out.
They are no longer the bind that ties a couple together, Real said, although the children are emotionally impacted by divorce whether they are adults or not.
“If we don’t think adult offspring of divorcing couples are tremendously and adversely affected,” she said, “we’re mistaken.”
In the Gore case, unrealized aspirations may also have played a part, she said.
Gore lost the 2000 presidential campaign when a controversial Florida Supreme Court decision gave the state’s electoral votes to George W. Bush. Gore had won the national popular vote.
“Obviously, their lifelong goals were not achieved,” Real said. “He should have been president of the United States. What a shock to a lifelong dream.”
Such circumstances can result in depression and mental health issues that put pressures on a marriage, she said.
“In my opinion, mental health issues probably are the second biggest reason long-term marriages find themselves in divorce court,” she said.
Real said her line of work is flourishing.
“There’s no recession in divorce in state of Florida and I presume everywhere else,” she said. “It’s good for divorce lawyers but horrible for society and for children.”